


Liam's Little Sister

by transking_23



Series: Abandoned But Not Anymore [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Child Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Liam has a little sister, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, original character with Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia (DVD)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transking_23/pseuds/transking_23
Summary: My name is Liana Juliette. I don’t have a last name. I was born December 23rd, 1994. I live in a group home, with Miss Tamaya (the only mother figure I’ve ever known) and some other kids. I’m currently 17, asocial, autistic, and have major trust and abandonment issues. Miss Tamaya says it’s because I don’t want to be left behind again. The older girls say I look a bit like this one guy from a boyband they like to listen to. I don’t really know if it’s true or not, because I don’t know what he looks like. My parents gave me up when I was less than a month old, according to Miss Tamaya. She’s the one who owns the group home and takes care of everyone. The only thing I have of my family is a bracelet that was with me when Miss Tamaya found me on the doorstep.
Relationships: Liam Payne & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Abandoned But Not Anymore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144874





	1. One

I sighed, sitting on my bed in the room I shared with Tyler. She was at her job right now; I’d be working too, if I had gotten my GED after I had to drop out of school. I bit my lip and pulled my old guitar out from under my bed. It was an 8th birthday gift from Miss Tamaya, and I loved playing on it even if I wasn’t that good. I started by strumming a few chords, relaxing as the music washed over me.

“♫ _ If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you  
_ _ I think I might give up everything, just ask me to  
_ _ Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down  
_ _ Right now I'm completely defenceless _ .” I began to sing, still strumming.

“♫ _ For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart  
_ _ For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
_ _ I'm missing half of me when we're apart  
_ _ Now you know me, for your eyes only  
_ _ For your eyes only _

“♫ _ I've got scars even though they can't always be seen  
_ _ And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing  
_ _ Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down  
_ _ Right now I'm completely defenceless _

“♫ _ For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart  
_ _ For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
_ _ I'm missing half of me when we're apart  
_ _ Now you know me, for your eyes only  
_ _ For your eyes only _

“♫ _ I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it  
_ _ I've been going out of my mind, I feel it, I feel it  
_ _ Know that I'm just wasting time  
_ _ And I hope that you don't run from me _

“♫ _ For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart  
_ _ For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
_ _ I'm missing half for me when we're apart  
_ _ Now you know me, for your eyes only _

“♫ _ For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart  
_ _ For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
_ _ I'm missing half for me when we're apart  
_ _ Now you know me, for your eyes only  
_ _ For your eyes only  
_ _ For your eyes only _ .” I finished singing, and sighed.

Tyler would give me random songs to learn and play; she wouldn't tell me the artist or band who sang it, I would just listen to the vocals while blindfolded (her idea) and learn the rhythm and words. To be honest, I rather liked learning the songs, and she’d give me some sheet music every once in a while so I could play wordless music when I didn’t want to sing.

I loved playing guitar, it was one of the few things I was even somewhat good at. Miss Tamaya and the others all told me there was plenty I was good at, but that guitar and singing were the things I was best at. I loved singing and playing my guitar, but what if my birth family hated music? What if I was actually terrible like Oliver had told me?

Tyler walked into the room, looking tired and worn out.

“Princess, be glad you don’t have a job.” She said, flopping onto her bed and burying her face in her pillow.

“Want me to play?” I offered quietly, and watched as she relaxed into the bed.

Even though Tyler was 2 years older, she and I were extremely close and considered ourselves sisters.

“Please? I could use some beautiful singing to loosen up.” Tyler lifted her head to smile at me, and I blushed at the compliment.

“Song?” I asked.

“Pretending… I need to hear it.” Tyler mumbled.

I began strumming the melody, and once I was far enough in I began to sing.

“♫ _ In this masquerade, she can't feel the pain  
_ _ Cover up her heart, with a little paint  
_ _ While he's pulling out a flask, to hide it all away  
_ _ There's nothing left to say _

“♫ _ He knows that they're drowning  
_ _ She hopes that there's still something left  
_ _ Let go now cause he's leaving _

“♫ _ But she'd be fine pretending, things were alright  
_ _ Even while its ending keep it inside  
_ _ She can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending so what is she defending?  
_ _ Even when she says she'll open her eyes  
_ _ All her words are empty when she denies  
_ _ But she can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending so what is she defending?  
_ _ But she'd be fine pretending... (she'd be fine) _

“♫ _ Step into the light, to look him in the eye  
_ _ Feeling so exposed, she tries to stay composed  
_ _ But every little fight and every little lie is impossible to hide _

“♫ _ He knows that they're drowning  
_ _ She hopes that there's still something left  
_ _ Let go now cause he's leaving _

“♫ _ But she'd be fine pretending, things were alright  
_ _ Even while its ending keep it inside  
_ _ She can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending so what is she defending?  
_ _ Even when she says she'll open her eyes  
_ _ All her words are empty when she denies  
_ _ But she can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending so what is she defending?  
_ _ But she'd be fine pretending... (she'd be fine) _

“♫ _ I hate to watch her hurt, I know it isn't right  
_ _ But she can find the courage to leave it all behind  
_ _ I wish I had the words to help her realize  
_ _ That there is just no way to bring this back to life _

“♫ _ He knows that, they're drowning _

“♫ _ But she'd be fine pretending, things were alright  
_ _ Even while its ending keep it inside  
_ _ She can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending, so what is she defending?  
_ _ Even when she says she'll open her eyes  
_ _ All her words are empty when she denies  
_ _ But she can feel them bending  
_ _ All their love is pending so what is she defending?  
_ __ But she'd be fine pretending... She'd be fine .” I sang, strumming the guitar gently to fit the melancholy song.

Tyler sniffed a little, and I set my guitar to the side before going over to her bed. Once I reached her, I sat next to Tyler and hugged her, letting her cry it out.

“He left me, princess. He left me, and he didn't even say it to my face.” Tyler got out through her tears, and I hugged her tighter to try and comfort her better.

“Jerk. Right one will be able to put up with me.” I told her firmly, and Tyler laughed through her tears.

“You’re not a brat, Ju.” Tyler hugged me back, her tears slowly stopping.

“Am too. Remember makeup?” I asked, and the two of us laughed together.


	2. Chapter Two

About a month after Tyler’s boyfriend broke up with her, she took me to London for a bonding day. She said she needed to get out of the house, and that I needed to stop hiding myself away so much. I got dressed in a simple blue and white striped top and red trousers, along with my Toms and favourite snapback, making sure I was wearing my bracelet, and had my guitar. It was in its case, on my back. I always felt better when I had my guitar with me, it was my one comfort. Tyler made sure to stay close to me, knowing I never felt exactly safe unless I was with people I knew without a doubt I could trust.

“You wanna stop by Prufrock?” Tyler asked, and I nodded a little.

“Get new guitar strings?” I asked softly, and she smiled.

“Of course we can.” Tyler grinned, hugging me to her side.

I relaxed, and we walked inside Prufrock. Tyler ordered a large black coffee, while I got a small hot chocolate. Once we got our drinks and Tyler paid, we began walking around the city. I smiled as Tyler told jokes, and the two of us slowly made our way to GuitarGuitar. Tyler and I walked up to the counter, where our brother who used to live in the group home stood. He’d offered to let us live with him, but I wasn’t good with new places and Tyler didn’t want to leave me.

“Hey, Jan.” Tyler greeted Alex.

“I’ve told you not to call me that, Taylor.” Alex pretended to be disappointed in her, and I almost laughed.

“Hi, Allie.” I said quietly, and he grinned at me.

“Hey, princess. Here to get some strings for your guitar again?” He asked, and I nodded.

“Can I tune here, play?” I asked softly.

“Of course. Just make sure you don’t get too noisy, I know how into the music you get.” Alex grinned, getting out some guitar strings for me to refit my guitar, since the ones on it right now were worn down and close to snapping.

Once my guitar was restrung, I tuned it to make sure it was right, and went to the little side-lounge area where me and Tyler hung out when we were here. It was out of sight of the door, and Tyler sat in the seat opposite mine.

“Play something.” She suggested.

“What?” I asked softly.

“Wherever You Are, that’s a good one.” Alex suggested, and I nodded.

I began playing the chords, but stopped when I heard the front door of the shop shut. I didn’t like playing when people I didn’t know could hear me. Tyler frowned, but she knew what the noise meant.

“Hey, Alex. How’s it going?” An Irish sounding voice said, and Tyler froze in shock while her eyes widened.

“It’s going good, Jimmy.” Alex replied, and the Irish guy groaned.

“I’ve told you to call me Niall.” He said with a pout.

“No. Also, you came in right as she started to play. I was about to get a better performance than at a concert, dude.” Alex whined, and I smiled.

“No, Jimmy protested!” A voice shouted, and Tyler laughed.

“Lads, there’s someone here.” A third person said, and I moved to hide.


	3. Chapter Three

Luckily, the lounge seat could hide me easily when I was laying down beside it, and my guitar fit underneath. I didn’t want anyone but Alex and Tyler to know I was here. Tyler had given herself away, but I would remain hidden.

“Taylor, come out of hiding.” Alex said playfully.

“No. And get my name right, it’s  _ Tyler _ not Taylor.” Tyler said with mock anger in her voice.

“Ooh, she sounds feisty.” A fourth person said, and then there was laughter.

“If you don’t go, they come.” I whispered to her, and Tyler nodded.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” She whispered back, and left to greet the strangers when I nodded.

“Woah. Since when does Alex know models?” One of the strangers asked.

“She’s my sister, so don’t go there.” Alex warned.

“Dude, I’m 19 not 9. Also, I’m not a model.” Tyler said, obviously trying not to fangirl.

“Well sorry for looking out for you. Also, calm down. Your fangirl is showing.” Alex teased.

“Shut up, you know I’m a fan of One Direction!” Tyler said, and I smiled to myself.

“Oh, so your beautiful sister’s a fan of us, is she?” The Irish one asked.

“I just like your music, I don’t know you guys enough to be a proper fan.” Tyler huffed, and I almost laughed as I imagined her crossed arms and pout.

“Close enough, Taylor.” Alex chuckled.

“Dude, you are  _ asking _ to get slapped.” The third voice commented.

“That he is, that he is. I wonder if I should tell them about what you used to do every Halloween,  _ Jan _ ?” Tyler said, purposely using the nickname he hated.

“Jan?” The fourth person questioned.

“Inside joke.” Tyler and Alex chorused, like the twins they were.

“Are you two twins?” The Irish one asked.

“No…” Tyler lied unconvincingly, and I failed to keep in my snort.

“Are you just hiding random people here?” One of them asked, and I distinctly heard Alex facepalm.

“No…” Alex said, and I tried not to laugh.

“Who else is here?” The third voice asked.

“No one…” Tyler tried to lie, and I heard someone snort.

“We’ll find them, and then they’ll be our friend.” The Irish one declared, and I laughed.

“You’ve hidden another girl here!” The one who had shouted something about a Jimmy shouted.

“What? N- no I haven’t.” Alex lied badly.

“We’re not making her come out, she doesn’t like strangers. And she’ll most likely try to run if you surround her.” Tyler said, and I snorted again.

I wouldn’t run, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable. And I’d try not to let my disability stop me from talking to people, since I needed more friends than just Tyler, Alex, and Miss Tamaya.

“Seems she doesn’t agree.” The Irish one said, and I popped my head up.

“Liam, you’ve been cloned.” A guy with bright green eyes and curly hair said, looking at my face.

“Princess, I thought you were going to stay hidden.” Alex looked confused, and I stuck my tongue out at him as I grabbed my guitar from under the seat and stood up.

“Or has Louis been cloned?” The Irish one, a lad with blue eyes and blonde-brown hair mused, noticing my outfit.

A guy with brown hair and brown eyes chuckled, and I crossed my arms, giving him a look.

“Juliette Liana, don’t glare.” Tyler scolded lightly, and I sighed.

“You play?” A guy who looked strangely like me asked, motioning to my guitar.

I nodded, not wanting to talk yet. I didn’t even know their names yet, but Alex and Tyler seemed to know who they were.

“Princess, this is Jimmy,” Alex pointed to the blonde-brunette one. “Then Harry’s the one with green eyes, Louis is the one in stripes, Liam is the one who looks kinda like you, and Zayn is the brunette with brown eyes.”

I waved slightly, and they smiled.

“You seem pretty shy for such a beautiful girl.” Zayn said, and the slight smile I’d had fell.

Oliver had always called me beautiful, before he broke up with me after causing me to have a miscarriage. He hadn’t wanted to deal with someone like me, someone who wouldn't intentionally kill an unborn child just because they were unplanned. Louis - the one who had shouted something about a jimmy - seemed to pick up on it, and frowned a little with his eyes. Tyler punched my shoulder playfully, then held her hand dramatically when I didn't even budge.

“What are you made of, bricks?” She joked.

“Made of gold.” I mumbled with a grin, and Jimmy laughed.

“I like you.” He said, and I smiled.

“What?” Zayn was confused.

“She said something funny.” Jimmy explained, and his friends looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“She didn’t say anything…?” Harry looked confused, and I snorted.

“Did.” I said, making my voice loud enough for all of them to hear.

“She speaks.” Louis said as dramatically as he could, and I laughed.

“She isn’t running away.” Alex stared at me like I was an alien.

“Not knowing people doesn’t mean I’ll run away.” I retorted quietly, earning laughter from the guys and a grin from Alex.

“Shut up. You hate people, and I can prove it.” Tyler said.

“Hate  _ dumb-asses _ . Get it right, Ty.” I corrected her softly, and Alex gasped.

“Tyler, you’ve corrupted Ju!” He said dramatically.

“Oh,  _ now _ you say my name right.” Tyler rolled her eyes playfully.

I chuckled, and so did the newcomers.

“So, how good are you at playing?” Louis asked, gesturing to my guitar.

I put a hand on it, covering the engraving. Miss Tamaya had helped me make it, and she’d helped me put waterproof stain on it. It had been Alex and Tyler’s idea for the engraving - roses around my name. A silent tribute to the daughter I lost.

“There’s something on it you’re trying to hide, isn’t there?” Jimmy asked me.

I shook my head unconvincingly.

“Show us.” Louis said with a pout, and I laughed.

“I just realised your birthday is a day before Louis’.” Alex said with wide eyes.

“Wait, you’re a December baby too?” Louis asked in surprise.

I nodded with a sad expression. My birth parents had left me on the doorstep of the group home a week after Christmas with a slip of paper that had my information. No last name or address to find them, Miss Tamaya showed me the paper herself. All we knew was that my last name started with a P.

“What’s wrong? I feel like I did something to upset you.” Louis looked sad, and I made myself smile.

“Nothing.” I lied quietly, knowing only Tyler and Alex would be able to tell.

“Bad doorstop baby. No frowning.” Alex playfully reprimanded, and I laughed at his attempt to scold me.

“You’re one too, Allie.” I reminded him softly, and Alex facepalmed.

“Doorstop baby?” Zayn questioned.

“Allie?” Jimmy laughed.

“It’s a term we came up with.” Tyler explained, and Liam looked at her for answers.

“It means someone who was left on the porch of the group home we grew up in.” Alex explained.

“Wait, but… that’s not nice. What about your families?” Jimmy frowned, and Alex sighed a little.

“They gave each of us up. Tyler and I only know our names, and the day we were found on the porch is what’s considered our birthday. Ju is literally the only one of us who got legit information when she arrived. Name, birthday…” Alex trailed off.

“My last name starts with P.” I added, and Liam blinked.

“This talk is way too serious. Let’s go to Nando’s and get food!” Jimmy said, and I smiled.

“Niall, all you ever eat is Nando’s.” Liam chuckled, and I relaxed a little.

“Great that princess loves Nando’s too, then.” Tyler ruffled my head, and I sent her an unamused look.

“Don’t touch my hat.” I told her with a pout, and Niall ginned.

“What’s your favourite thing from Nando’s?” He asked me excitedly.

“The chicken thigh.” I smiled at the Irishman, and he grinned more before pulling me into a hug suddenly.

“You look like Liam, dress like Louis, eat like Niall… where’re Zayn and me in this?” Harry asked jokingly, and I laughed as Jimmy let me go.

“I swear this is really really weird. It’s like if Niall, Liam, and Louis all figured out how to have a kid together but you’re our age.” Zayn said into the developing silence, and Tyler and Alex started giggling in unison.

“The thought of Ju being the child of famous people…” Tyler tried to hold her laughter in.

I joined in laughing. The thought of me having famous parents was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. If I did, they wouldn't have left me at the group home, especially not a week after Christmas and little over a week after I was born.


	4. Chapter Four

Three weeks after I’d met the five boys I was sitting on the back porch of the group home tuning my guitar. The other kids left me alone when I had it, except for Tyler and Alex. Someone knocked on the back door, and I looked up to see it was one of the boys I’d met at the music shop. The brunette one, but not the pale one.

“Hey.” He said, taking a seat on the swing.

“Hey. Here to listen or have actual reason?” I asked teasingly, my voice barely loud enough to hear in the quiet.

“Just wanted to see Liam’s genderbend. How old are you, anyway?” He asked.

“Seventeen.” I mumbled.

“I feel bad since I can’t remember your name but pretty sure you don’t remember mine.” I admitted softly, finally finishing tuning my guitar.

“I’m Zayn.” He chuckled, and just to prove me wrong, added, “Juliette.”

“Wrong. My name is Ju.” I said, strumming my guitar experimentally to see if it was tuned correctly.

It was, and I strummed a bit more. Zayn stayed silent, just sitting there while I strummed chords to one of the songs Tyler and Alex had helped me learn.

“You’re good.” Zayn commented, and I smiled sadly.

“No. If I was, people would want to hear. Only Tyler and Alex listen. He made sure he told me I’d never be good.” I said softly, and the boybander looked at me like I was stupid.

“Ju, you’re nearly as good as Niall at playing the guitar, and he has thousands of people who want to hear him. If you’re not good at playing, then neither is Niall. I haven’t heard you sing yet, but I’m sure you’re good at that too.” Zayn told me, and I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed.

“But I’m not good.” I protested halfheartedly.

“And if you think like that because of whoever he is, then you need to learn that people only have power over you if you let them.” Zayn said before standing up, glancing at his phone.

“Guys need you?” I guessed softly, and he nodded.

“We’ve got rehearsal for the upcoming concert. You should come, Ju, I might be able to sneak you and the twins tickets.” Zayn offered, and I smiled.

“Only if it’s no trouble.” I gave him a half wave before he turned and left.

I was alone with my guitar, and mentioning Oliver had brought back the memories. Looking back, I could see that our relationship wasn’t healthy. He was possessive, and rude, and whenever he took me out on dates he made me pay. And with what happened almost two years ago…

Thinking about my past relationship that caused me to lose my daughter, I began strumming my guitar.

“♫ _ Hmm _

“♫ _ You open your heart  
_ _ Open your mind  
_ _ Let somebody in  
_ _ Take a walk through your past  
_ _ The good and the bad  
_ _ Decide you can do this again  
_ _ But it's supposed to feel different  
_ _ Supposed to feel safe  
_ _ Safe like going home  
_ _ But just like sand  
_ _ It slips through your hands  
_ _ Before you know it your trust is gone _

_ “ _ ♫ _ Every late night call,  
_ _ Every morning kiss  
_ _ All the ‘I can't live without yous’  
_ _ And you say goodbye like this?  
_ _ Don't you understand?  
_ _ Do you even care?  
_ _ If you loved me like you said you did  
_ _ Well you'd still be standing here  
_ _ You think you know somebody _

“♫ _ It's all just a blur  
_ _ The nights are the worst,  
_ _ This bed still smells like you  
_ _ Wake up from the dreams  
_ _ Catch my breath,  
_ _ It takes everything I've got to move  
_ _ Yeah it could've been a long walk talk to fix this,  
_ _ The seas were getting rough,  
_ _ But I thought we were worth it  
_ _ Worth a try, worth a fight,  
_ _ Shows you what I know, _

“♫ _ Every late night call,  
_ _ Every morning kiss  
_ _ All the ‘I can't live without yous’  
_ _ And you say goodbye like this?  
_ _ Don't you understand?  
_ _ Do you even care?  
_ _ If you loved me like you said you did  
_ _ Well you'd still be standing here  
_ _ You think you know somebody _

“♫ _ Tell me where did you go,  
_ _ When the lights came up?  
_ _ I don't even know you anymore  
_ _ You're holding a knife   
_ _ I could see things better  
_ _ Yeah you've done this before _

“♫ _ You think you know  
_ _ Hmm  
_ _ Yeah, you think you know somebody  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know _

“♫ _ Every late night call,  
_ _ Every morning kiss  
_ _ All the ‘I can't live without yous’  
_ _ And you say goodbye like this?  
_ _ Don't you understand?  
_ _ Do you even care?  
_ _ If you loved me like you said you did  
_ _ Well you'd still be standing here  
_ _ You think you know somebody _

“♫ _ You think you know somebody  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know somebody _

“♫ _ You think you know  
_ _ You think you know  
_ __ You think you know somebody

“♫ _ You never know, you never know. _ ” I sang as I strummed the chords, and belatedly realised I’d been crying.

I wiped my tears away, and strummed just one more chord before stopping. My guitar was my baby, and I’d always been able to show my emotions through music I’d learned.

“Thinking about him?” Alex asked from the back door, and I looked over.

“Yeah. I should’ve been the one to leave.” I sighed, and Alex sat next to me.

“Damn straight.” He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Did you know Zayn came by?” I asked quietly, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Did he make a move on my little sister?” Alex asked, and I laughed.

“Just told me I should be more confident.” I chuckled, and Alex grinned before ruffling my hair.

“You realise that people are going to be dumbasses and think you’re  _ actually _ related to Liam when they find out we’re friends with the band, right?” He teased.

“And? Liam seems good, okay with people thinking that.” I shrugged as I put my guitar in its case, and Alex and I headed inside.


	5. Five

Two weeks later, I was at GuitarGuitar with Alex, him at the register and me in the lounge. Tyler was out doing her job, and I didn’t want to be alone in the group home. Miss Tamaya had gone to visit some of her family, and I was the only kid at the group home that didn’t go to school. I had my bracelet around my wrist, a deep sapphire sweater on with a dark purple plaid scarf, my earrings were in, and my hair was down for once instead of being tied back under a snapback. I had my guitar in my lap, and was trying to think of a good song to play to fill the silence. A song that wouldn't make me cry.

The bell above the door rang, and I shrunk back a little at the unfamiliar voices that flooded in as customers came in.

I got up from the lounge seat and headed into the backroom with my guitar, knowing Alex would understand. I didn’t want to be around anyone right now, not when it was getting closer to the anniversary. Alex and Tyler were nice enough to give me space to mourn when I needed it.

I used to love this time of year, but then The Incident happened two years ago. It was early afternoon, November 15th. The day I lost my daughter.

Oliver had shoved me, knowing full well what could happen. We’d been arguing- he’d wanted me to get an abortion, I wouldn't back down on my choice not to kill my daughter just because he’d forced himself on me. My stomach had hit the ground first, and I’d known immediately that Rose Willow wouldn't make it because of the pain I was in. I hadn’t even been ready to sleep with Oliver when she was conceived, but I couldn't leave my baby’s father. I’d been three months along the day I lost her, and my baby girl was buried in the cemetery closest to the group home.

I held my guitar close, feeling the pain that came from knowing I’d never get to hold my baby. Oliver had killed my daughter, and I’ll never forgive him for it. He’d killed Rose Willow, and I couldn't forgive him for that.

“Thinking about her?” Alex asked softly, taking a seat next to me.

I nodded, and he wiped a tear from my cheek. I hadn’t even realised I was crying.

“I never got to hold her.” With those six words, the floodgates burst and I cried in my brother’s arms.

It didn’t matter to me and the twins that we weren’t biologically related, we were still family. They’d been there for me when I lost my daughter, when I came clean about what Oliver did the night she was conceived, when we had a funeral for her that only the group home went to, when the anniversary of the day I lost her came and I couldn't get out of bed without crying, when I visited her grave for the first time… both Alex and Tyler had been there for me through it all. They were my family in everything but blood, they had been since I’d been left on the doorstep of the group home.

Alex held me close and rubbed my back, whispering reassuring things and letting me cry into his shirt until I was out of tears and hiccuping through the sobs.

“Allie? Princess? You here?” Tyler called, and Alex kissed my forehead.

“Back here, sis.” Alex called, and a moment later I felt Tyler’s touch on my shoulder.

“Is it about her?” She asked softly, and my sniff was answer enough.

Both my siblings hugged me, and I let their comforting touch help me relax. I fell asleep from the exhaustion that came with crying so much, and only stirred a little when I heard voices. I’d been asleep for longer than twenty minutes, I knew that much.

“Ssh, you’ll wake her up.” That was Tyler’s voice for sure.

“She was crying.” Irish accent, so it was Alex’s friend Jimmy.

“It’s close to the anniversary, of course Ju was crying.” Alex’s voice, closer to me.

“Anniversary? Anniversary of what?” Slow and careful words, soft voice- green eyes, his name started with an H.

“It’s not our place to tell.” Tyler said, and I felt her hand run through my hair.

I hummed softly, feeling myself get close to waking up but wanting to stay asleep.

“Why are there roses on her guitar?” Soft and slightly rough voice- blue eyes, name started with an L.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask Ju later.” Tyler said, and I shifted a little in Alex’s arms.

“She looks so small like this. Are you sure it’s okay for us to be here when she’s clearly had a rough day?” Gentle voice, soft tone- Zayn maybe?

“Liam, they would’ve told us to leave if that weren’t the case. Now be quiet.” Gentle accent, smooth and soft voice, warm tone- called the soft tone Liam so it had to be Zayn.

“My sister’s emotional this time of year, so don’t say anything about it when she wakes up.” Tyler said, and I shifted a bit more in Alex’s arms as I got closer to being awake.

I opened my eyes slightly to see my brother was indeed the one holding me, my head against his chest and his arms anchoring me in place. I hummed a little and relaxed further into him, closing my eyes and letting myself be held.

“I know you’re awake. My legs are asleep, and I can’t keep holding you.” Alex deadpanned, and I made a disagreeing hum.

“Princess, get your ass off our brother or I’ll carry you back to the group home and leave your guitar here.” Tyler threatened, but I knew it was empty.

I flipped her off and stayed laying on Alex, much to the amusement of the guys.

“Ju, will you please get off Alex?” Liam asked, and I could feel his eyes on me.

“Just want to be held. Miss my baby.” I mumbled, knowing only Tyler and Alex heard me clearly, and heard Tyler sigh.

“Alex, hand her to me.” Tyler said, and my brother passed me to my sister before standing up.

I was too drowsy to protest, and let Tyler situate me in her arms. My head hurt a little from all the crying, and I’d probably made myself sick. I’d pay for crying my eyes out, but it wasn’t my fault Oliver had killed my daughter before I ever got to hold her.

“I think Ju might be even smaller than Louis.” Jimmy said, and I opened my eyes to glare tiredly at him before yawning and curling a little into Tyler’s touch.

“Ni, I don’t think you should mention her size if you want to avoid making her angry.” Zayn said with an amused tone.

“I still say we should’ve gotten that bastard arrested for what he did.” Alex said as he stood up and stretched.

“We tried, remember? The cops believed him when he said it was an accident.” Tyler replied, and I relaxed further as she ran her fingers through my hair.

“What?” Louis sounded confused and a little angry.

“It’s Ju’s story to tell.” Alex said as he left the backroom.

“So, Ju… how do you feel about coming to one of our concerts with the twins?” Jimmy bluntly changed the topic.

I gave a tired thumbs up, and heard a few of them chuckle as Alex came back.

“Anyone wanna get some coffee? I’ll pay.” Alex offered, and the guys left with him.

“Princess, you wanna go back to the home, get some hot chocolate?” Tyler asked, and I nodded a little.

She set me down, and I grabbed my guitar and put it back in its case before we walked out of GuitarGuitar and began the walk back to the home. Tyler talked to me about random things, trying to keep my mind occupied so I didn’t dwell on the fact that the day I lost my daughter was less than a week away. It helped a little, but my mind kept drifting to the gravemarker that showed where she was buried, a little stone angel kneeling in a bed of roses with her head bowed in prayer, a stone plaque at the base with my daughter’s name engraved in it.

Alex had been the one to get the gravemarker made, but when the guy heard why he wanted it he’d said it was free of charge. My daughter deserved more, and I had a feeling nothing would ever feel like it was enough to make up for what Oliver had done to both her and me.


	6. Six

Tyler and I arrived back at the group home, and she went to make some hot chocolate for the two of us, mine with extra whipped cream, mini marshmallows, chocolate syrup, and sprinkles. I needed to distract myself so I wouldn't think about what was just days away. I needed to just lose myself for a bit, and I needed to let Tyler and Alex help me.

Rose Willow was my daughter, and I hated her father with every piece of me. I hated how even after what he did I still held on, I hated that it took him cheating after he forced me to have a miscarriage for me to end us, I hated how manipulative and self-centered he was, I hated how he had made everything seem like it was my fault.

“Can we visit her?” I mumbled as Tyler placed the cup of hot chocolate in front of me, and she smiled sadly.

“Of course we can.” She told me, and I took a sip of my hot chocolate.

I burned my tongue, and the physical pain helped distract me from the emotional pain I felt from knowing the anniversary of when I lost my daughter was coming very quickly. The front door opened, and I heard Alex’s voice along with the guys. They got louder, and I heard their footsteps as well as they neared the kitchen where Tyler and I were drinking our hot chocolate. I gave a small wave when I saw them, and took a sip of my still too-hot hot chocolate.

“Hey you two.” Alex greeted, and I smiled at them as Liam stared at my hot chocolate.

“That looks like diabetes in a cup.” He said, and I grinned.

“Maybe I prefer diabetes in cup.” I retorted quietly, taking another sip of my hot chocolate.

“You’ve got a little…” Harry gestured around his face, and I did the logical thing.

I did my best to lick the whipped cream off my face, and managed to get quite a bit of it. The boys minus Alex just stared as I effortlessly licked the whipped cream off my own nose, and Alex chuckled.

“You know you could just use a napkin, Princess.” He said, and I stuck my tongue out at him in response.

“Let her be, Jan. You know better than to challenge the princess.” Tyler grinned, and Alex facepalmed.

“Once, Tyler. That happened  _ once _ and it will never happen again.” He said exasperatedly, and I laughed.

“So, uh… what’s with calling Ju a princess?” Harry asked.

“It’s always been her nickname. Ju here can break anyone’s will if she wants just by giving them that kicked puppy look, and she’s got so many people wrapped around her finger.” Tyler ruffled my hair, and I shoved her hand away from my head with a slightly upset look.

“No touching my hair.” I took an aggressive sip of my hot chocolate, and Tyler held her hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, Ju.” She apologised, and I relaxed a little.

“Visit her. Come with please?” I asked the twins, and Alex and Tyler smiled.

“Sure you want us there? It’s only been two years, kiddo. You wouldn't even come out of your room last year, we had to bring food to you to make sure you were eating.” Alex frowned a little, and I nodded.

“You’re family.” I said firmly, and one of the guys with Alex coughed uncomfortably.

“So...Zayn told us Ju’s pretty good at playing guitar. Is it okay if we listen?” The one with green eyes, Harry, asked.

“Maybe. No playing anniversary.” I answered, earning confused looks from Alex’s friends.

“She’s not gonna play on the anniversary, but maybe after.” Alex translated for them.

“A woman of few words.” Louis smiled, and I shook my head.

“Words hard sometimes. I’m not good at talking, my brain doesn’t work right.” I tried to explain, but the five of them only looked confused.

“Ju’s got DVD.” Tyler said bluntly, and the five of them looked like they didn’t know how to respond to that.

“So, who wants to go swimming?” Harry asked to change the subject, and I shook my head.

“I can’t.” I pouted a little, and the five looked to my sister and brother for answers.

“Ju can’t swim.” Tyler admitted for me.

“You can sit out with Zayn then, since he can’t swim either.” Liam decided, and I smiled slightly.

I’d get to know him a bit more while the others were swimming, and maybe I could learn where he’d gone to get his tattoos done since they looked cool. Miss Tamaya wouldn’t me get any until I was eighteen, which was only a few months away. I wanted to spend my free time after I was 18 trying to find my parents so I could finally know  _ why _ they’d abandoned me so soon after I was born. Who would keep a child for less than two weeks before leaving them behind without any explanation?

Zayn and I sat on the sidelines while the other six got changed into their swimsuits. He had changed into a pair of dark blue swimtrunks while I had changed into a slightly shorter pair of leggings with an amber coloured t-shirt that had a red circle in the middle of the chest. I was glad the group home had an indoor pool, otherwise going to go swim would’ve made absolutely no sense in this weather. 


End file.
